If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize