Christians are straight up FREAKS
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
