I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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