census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
