do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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