My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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