I met the friendliest cop last night
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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