You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
