I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize