I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize