I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
