i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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