It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize