i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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