Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
