I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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