with your own penis?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
