By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Mom said you looked used
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
