Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize