when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So vagazzling was a success
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
