Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
