well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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