if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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