I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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