Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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