you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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