Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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