I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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