What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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