you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
