You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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