just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
