The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I need moral support for this bender
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
