I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize