It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize