loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
