I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
