He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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