I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
