Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
