I want to stick my p in your. b.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
