how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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