just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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