This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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