are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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