we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
