My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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