i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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