fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
