he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
