im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
