She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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