He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize