She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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