4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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