She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
