i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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