thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize