If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
