Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
