he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
