That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just tell him i said nine months
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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