whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize