Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
