I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
