i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
